A promotional image from the TV series, The Flash, by DC TV
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We, as parents or educators, take up the mantle of shaping the lives of our children. Let us take a moment and think about a latent question. Are we shaping their lives based on the personality and skills of our children, or are we shaping them to fit into a mould that we have made as adults?
If your answer is yes to the first part of the question, you can close this article and read the other articles on our website. But, if your answer is yes to the latter part of the question, then I would suggest you continue reading this. It is completely normal to be afraid for the future of our children. But in compensating for our fear, are we damaging it more?
I have observed parents enrolling their children into many classes and institutes right from a very young age. Their entire childhood experience is a well-planned busy schedule. A fictional example is ‘Kazama’ in the cartoon series ‘Shinchan’. Kazama is a kid character who is always nervous; always busy in the pursuit of keeping up with his jam-packed schedule. But there are many real-life examples like these. Many of these children are not able to bear the pressure of performing in all the areas. This leads them to many disorders both mental and physical. But the need of parents to build an excellent all-rounder of a child never ceases.
Let us look at a few examples that prove otherwise.
I am assuming that everyone is aware of the superhero called the Flash. There is a tv-series based on this DC Comics superhero, which you can catch up on if you have a subscription to Amazon’s Prime Video OTT service. In the origin story, when a dark-matter-ridden lightning bolt struck a guy called Barry Allen, and with everything that followed, he became the Flash. The Flash’s primary superpower is his superspeed. Every other power of his is an extension of his superspeed. His mentor, Harrison Wells, always focused on Barry Allen’s strengths and his deep-seated values as the driving motivators. It would not have made sense if he would have compared the Flash to the Batman or the Superman or any other superhero for that matter, because, the Flash is the Flash because of who he is, what powers he possesses, and his enabling attitude of running — running towards dangers, with an intent to help the troubled. If he had insisted on the Flash to become someone that he was truly not (irrespective of his powers), then he would not have turned out to be a great superhero. He understood and accepted Barry Allen. Here, the Flash is Barry Allen, and, Barry Allen is the Flash. The Flash and Barry Allen are one and the same. The Flash is a reflection of Barry Allen’s own personality and value system. Because of this, despite having superspeed himself, Superman is very different from the Flash. The Flash is special in his own ways and has his dedicated fandom.
Harrison Wells, although having a hidden agenda, pushed the Flash to run faster. And hence, a very famous quote from the TV series, “Run Barry, Run!”
If Flash was pushed towards becoming something or someone he is not, then, he would not have become a focused, polished, and practised superhero; the one whom we all have come to appreciate (especially, those who are familiar with the Flash).
This is somewhat the situation with children these days. Imagine if every child had a superpower, and all the mentors pushed this child to become someone else; or for argument’s sake, to become like Superman (who is an epitome of an allrounder superhero). Then, that child may become a cheap copy of Superman, because, his mentorship would not have been based on his core competencies, but, based on an outside reference of what an ideal, all-rounder superhero is. Also, this would end up with the child becoming nothing special, but, a mere version of an existing mould. We can stop this from happening. We can build on what makes our children special. Each child is unique. We need to identify and nurture their superpowers.
We must treat each child individually. They have to be given the space to explore their skills and interests. If they are constantly being pushed and nagged to do many things, they may tumble in everything, and not gain stability even in a few things.
There are many organisations, big and popular ones, that prioritise skills more than degrees. When these organisations can recognise skills and offer jobs, why can’t we support our children by guiding and polishing their skills?
Do we even know what jobs or lines of business would be open when the child becomes an adult? We start pushing the children right from when they are admitted to kindergarten, assuming that they would end up in the same or similar jobs as ours. Now, that is a big assumption.
To address this problem, what we have to do is very simple. We just have to give a nudge when our children fail. Help them pick themselves up and try again. We have to help them try new things, commit mistakes, and learn from them. We have to give them the confidence to explore the unknown. We have to tell them that ‘it’s okay to fail’.
If we weigh our efforts in doing what our children require, vis-a-vis what we want out of them, I see that the efforts are far less, in doing what our children require.
Can we start doing it NOW?
What are we waiting for?
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